Zoidenstein
by River P. Greil
Summary: On a delivery trip, someting goes awry and the Planet Express Crew has limited time to save the Professor... sooooo...he'll probably die. Spoiler: Thank god for Zoidberg!


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Futurama in any way, shape, or form, …………… nor do I possess The Doors. Please don't sue me!

_Okay, this is my very first Futurama fanfiction, so be nice. AND REMEMBER TO REVIEW!_

_Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap._

Leela stood before the ship, arms crossed, with one heavy boot tapping the floor impatiently. Nibbler rested comfortably on her shoulder, snoring in an almost growling-humming manner.

"_Piou! Piou!_" Fry called out holding two fingers and a thumb up in Bender's direction, "You'll never get away with it, Señor Roboto. Ahm the law in this here town."

"_Piou! Piou!_" Bender "shot" at Fry who jumped out of the way and behind a large coral colored lump that lay on the floor of the hanger, "I find that very insulting as a Mexican."

Fry, resting his arms on the soft, sticky, cushion, closed one eye and pretended to shoot at the approaching Bender.

"Piou," Bender opened his "stomach" and tossed an empty beer bottle in Fry's direction. It shattered at contact with the coral colored mass.

"Ow," came a congested voice as a disturbing looking head popped out of Fry's shelter, "Zoidberg is hit! Is their no end to Zoidberg's turmoil?"

Fry stepped away from Zoidberg nonchalantly and proceeded to shoot at Bender as he drew ever closer.

"_Bender_! I already _got_ you like three times now! You're supposed to '_die_!'" Fry whined.

"I cahn't," Bender said in a fake German accent, "For I AM the BENDANATA. I cannot die!"

"Zoidberg can," Dr. Zoidberg said pulling his arms and legs out from underneath his body, which had began to bleed profusely.

"Come _on_, guys, we need to get going!" Leela said angrily approaching the lazy Planet Express Delivery crew, "We have a deadline to deliver these anti-depressant pills to Euphoria!"

"Euphoria?" Bender whipped around, I love it there! Ever since Amsterdam exploded, it's the new party central for stoners and anyone who likes hookers!"

"Amsterdam exploded?" Fry replied in shock, "It was always my dream to dream about thinking of considering maybe planning to go there!"

Zoidberg was sliding himself on his stomach to the group that was starting to surround Leela.

"Yes," Leela answered, "It happened a few years after you were frozen, it hasn't been rebuilt yet since their prime minister was a little…"

"Baked," Bender finished.

"Smashed," Amy added.

"Zoidberg can't feel legs…" Zoidberg gasped weakly.

"Well, yes," Leela shrugged, "Pretty much."

"Hey!" mused Fry aloud, "Maybe if Leela gets smashed enough, she'll like me!"

"_Not gonna happen Fry_," Leela said walking back towards the ship.

"It's getting hard to…breathe," Zoidberg gasped, "Everything is going…dark. Zoidberg smells…meat."

Zoidberg took a big bite of himself and passed out. Amy, Fry and Bender followed Leela up to the door of the Planet Express ship. She opened the door and with great frustration ushered them in.

"**Hermes! Cubert! Professor Farnsworth**!" Leela called out, "Are you coming with us to deliver that shipment to Euphoria?"

"Euphoria!" came the voice of the Professor as he scuttled over with a faint smile on his old cracking lips, "I haven't been there since I was a boy of only fifty-three."

"So you coming, Professor?" Amy chirped closing her compact with a _snap!_

"I don't think that's such a great idea, Amy," Cubert imparted like in a know-it-all tone, "Such stimulation would probably be a bad idea for the already weak-hearted–"

_Beep! Beep!_

Cubert looked up to see the whole crew (including Scruffy the Janitor and Dwight) peaking out of the front window and signaling with their hands that he should get a move on.

_Beep!_

"What the–"

_Beeeeeeeep!_

"Okay, okay, I'm coming," Cubert sighed; hanging his head with his hands in his pockets he headed for the door.

The door fell open and several hands pulled him in.

"Can't…take…this…much…longer…" Zoidberg gasped and passed out.

"WE'RE GOIN' TO EUPHORIA! WE'RE GOIN' TO EUPHORIA!" Bender and Fry sang as they held hands and bounced around in a circle.

"_Oh my god_," Amy muttered turning around and putting her hand to her face, "Can you go be stupid somewhere else? Professor? Hermes?"

Amy's eyes widened when she noticed that Leela sat alone.

"WE'RE GOIN' TO EUPHORIA! WE'RE GOIN' TO EUPHORIA!"

Amy looked back to see Hermes and the Professor had joined the circle.

"_Oh my **god**_," Amy said turning red and running to go be with Leela.

In the back room, Cubert and Hermes's son, Dwight, were gabbing about whether or not they should go and check out the shipment.

"I heard them talking," whispered Dwight, "Those anti-depressants, are a little thing called 'E'!"

"The channel?"

"The drug!" Dwight hit Cubert in the back of the head.

"Ow!"

"It's _ecstasy_!"

"Ecstasy? Isn't that like illegal?"

"Not on Euphoria!" he giggled. They shut up for a moment as Scruffy walked through the room. When he left they huddled together again.

"Wait, but then, if it's only legal on Euphoria, why does the _Planet Express_ located in _New New York_ get a hold of it?"

"They don't know that it's ecstasy! I heard my dad talking about it earlier today, Rigel 7 forwarded them! Rigel 7! Dude! Do you _know _what Rigelians _are known for_!"

Cubert thought for a moment.

"No."

"Me neither! But I bet you they're drug lords!"

Cubert stared at Dwight curiously.

"…"

"…"

"… Oh come _on!_" Dwight whined.

"Fine, fine," Cubert sighed, "We'll go check it out."

Ten minutes later n the cargo room

Cubert and Dwight are laughing their asses off making snow angels in piles of pills while the song "Light My Fire" plays.

"Guys, calm down," Leela huffed, "You're scaring the intern."

"Awwwww," said Fry and his fellow dancers in unison, dropping their heads and walking moodily over to where Leela was and plopping down behind her seat.

Leela smirked victoriously and continued the journey.

Fry hovered a finger over Professor Farnsworth.

"Stop touching me, Fry," Professor Farnsworth said pulling his knees to his chest and resting his giant head.

"_I'm not **touch-ing**__you!_" Fry replied in a sing-song voice. He continued to pretend to jab at Professor Farnsworth with a single finger.

"Stop it Fry!"

"No. Why should I? I'm not doing anything," Fry smiled, never stopping, "I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching y––"

"**_Leela_**!" the Professor whined, "Fry keeps hovering his finger over me and pretending to jab at me!"

"Fry, stop it," Leela scolded without taking her eyes off the sky before her, "Go sit behind Amy."

Fry scoffed and angrily moved behind her mumbling, "_Stupid no good tattle tale nephew_."

"OH MY GOD!" Hermes cried standing up and pointing outwards to the left, "Look! It's Euphoria!"

"Wow, we're there already?" Leela scratched her head, "I thought it would take longer."  
"The trip had to be sped up for plot development," Nibbler explained. Everyone but Fry turned towards Nibbler with wide eyes, "I mean…_grrrrrrrrrrr_."

Everyone looked away with a sigh of relief.

"Hey," Hermes said looking up at an angle and scratching his chin, "Where's Dwight?"

_Okay, that was chapter 1. Too short? Accch, too bad, future chapters will be longer so don't nag. Tell me what you think. My English isn't too good, so it would be great to hear what you guys think would help my story. Reviews would be great. Please and thank you!_


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